Beautiful yet Invisible

Amanda Marks
2 min readDec 7, 2022
Author’s Image

A beautiful picture!

A simple photograph of a mother and daughter on a cold winter morning, waiting for the school bus to arrive. It is one of my favorites — my middle daughter and I.

What you can not see in this picture is how I am holding back tears!

What you can not hear in this picture is her repetitive whispers of, “I am sorry Mamma, I try hard to hold it all in — I love you so much! I am sorry I make you cry, I am sorry I can not control myself.”

What you can not feel in this picture is the anxiety, anger, heartbreak, guilt, and confusion gnawing at me! The invisible devastation of a mother not knowing what to do.

A cold morning (one of MANY) on a roller coaster of defiance, aggression, outburst (s), sadness, tears, and screams of: “YOUR RUDE”, only to be followed up with: “I AM SORRY, Mamma!”

Today she locked herself in the bathroom, crying, yelling: “Mommy, why am I this way?!”

Yesterday, she started washing her hair in the bathroom sink (coat and book bag on, 5 minutes before her bus arrived) because she did not in the shower and she pinky promised she would. We don’t break pinky promises in this family!

These are our mornings…

A simple photograph of a mother and daughter on a cold winter morning, waiting for the school bus to arrive. One would never suspect behind the smiles there is an invisible war, an invisible illness, being battled.

As I whispered in your ear during this picture, we will get through everything together! Every moment, every emotion, every appointment! Mamma’s got you girl!

#invisibleillness #adhdawareness #insulinresistance #puberty #learningdisabilities #fightingspirit #motherdaughter #family #team

--

--

Amanda Marks

Merging my professional background with a personally challenging life journey, to help and inspire others through creative and expressive writing.